Have you ever wondered what you “should” be doing?

Well let me stop you right there friend. I’d like you to delete that word “should” immediately from your vocabulary…

(more about that in another post).

So I’ll ask it in another way…

Have you ever wondered why you are doing what you’re doing and thought that maybe there’s something else out there meant for you?

I remember when I was a high school English teacher…

(yep, I had a whole other life prior to this health and wellness stuff).

After several years of stress, stress and more stress, after, I started to relax into the job, deciding that it wasn’t worth me stressing out anymore, deciding that I wanted to feel the joy in it, appreciate it more.

I didn’t want to spend my nights thinking about classes the next day, making worksheets that ultimately got scrunched up and stuffed to the bottom of the kid’s schoolbags, planning for next week, marking, marking and more marking.

The list of admin-related jobs were endless and it only took me 8 years to realise I was over it!

(That probably sounds like a long time but when people work their whole lives at a job they don’t love, I’d say 8 years is nothing, plus it was in 3 different schools).

As soon as I gave myself permission not to care so much anymore, to leave work at work and not to spend my nights trying to get more done for the next day, rather than doing the things that I wanted to do for myself in the evening, I got a little more rest and I had a little more room in my brain so I started to dream a little more…

And dream I did.

One day, I was teaching Year 8 English – persuasive writing was the topic at the time. I was on the third floor and it was a beautiful sunny day in Melbourne.

My classroom had a lovely view of the green oval and the park next to the school and it was full of kids running around playing sport.

I have always loved sport and on this particular day, I had the thought “Why am I in this classroom teaching English? I want to be out there running around with the kids!”

It was actually no surprise to me that I had this thought.

I’d been having it for far too long.

I was always searching for something more, another adventure, another experience.

Staying in one place for too long had never been an exciting idea for me.

And whilst it’s always a little sad moving on, I wanted to feel free and my job had me feeling limited.

I looked around and saw how most of the teachers had settled in with their ongoing positions and called the school their home, and it wasn’t what I desired.

So I was finally at the stage where I was ready to take action on what my heart had been whispering to me for so long.

While I enjoyed being in the energy of the students, I wanted out of teaching.

Funnily enough, without my conscious awareness, I’d been feeling, and therefore, manifesting this for a couple of years.

I was exploring my health wondering if this was the direction for me…

I had also taken on a new admin role at the school (a few years prior to having this realisation) and that role had allowed me to scale back on my teaching.

So during this particular year, which was to be my last, I never taught more than two classes a day.

This job was almost my dream. It allowed me to take a couple of trips to China and one to Vietnam but I still had to teach in order to do it (hence the almost).

When I reflect on this now, I think about how my dreams became a manifestation for me. What I was dreaming of, I was creating with all this international travel.

I was somewhat unconsciously thinking about what I wanted and feeling it in my heart and dreaming of it when I was both awake and asleep.

I wanted to go abroad again and it wasn’t until I got the opportunity that I fully realised that’s what I’d been creating.

Firstly with these shorter work trips and then with an opportunity to move to China, so I took it.

However, when I got to China, I found myself surrounded by people who were doing the same thing in China that people were doing around the world: living the same style of life – house, job, family, kids, regular activities etc etc.

No judgement to these people, many of them were very much joyfully loving their experiences… but this, I had decided, was not what I wanted to be around.

So I kept searching and eventually I found a job that allowed me to travel around and explore and for many years, I was happy doing that… until my heart said, it’s time to move on.

And I believe this is not just me having these desires.

I believe all souls want to follow their dreams and that inner pull towards what feels good, even if feeling good is settled and in one place.

And in my case, my job had become too repetitive and no longer fun, so I wanted to step into the next adventure.

But what did I learn from my experiences up until this point?

I learnt that my whole life had been a constant battle about expectations.

Doing the things I was raised to believe I had to do…

Versus doing what I wanted to do.

It was a battle between head and heart.

My heart wanted adventure, it wanted to do things that I wasn’t supposed to want.

My head told me to stay put, that I should be working towards all these goals, saving money for retirement, ticking society’s boxes.

I was (and still am) constantly searching because my heart was (and still is) constantly pushing me to search.

But there was this massive tug of war.

My brain was saying:

“All this following your heart is getting you no where. How about saving some money and settling down? Don’t you want a family?”

And my heart would sing:

“Book that ticket, buy that thing, sign up for that course, go to that place, OOOOhhhh, that looks fun, let’s go explore that!”

And whilst we all do need to be able to eat and have a roof over our heads, which means doing something that will provide a source of income…

(all the more if you have children or pets to take care of),

Why do we choose to do things and KEEP doing things (for years and years and years) that we no longer want to do?

I’ve had multiple conversations with people who do a job they don’t love but they won’t quit or go and find something else.

Security. It’s easier to stay than to go.

(You know it’s really fear though right?)

I’ve also talked to people who LOVED visiting a particular place and keep saying:

“Oh, I love it there, I wish I could live there!”

And yet they don’t pack up and move there.

I’m pretty sure that most people in this life, you included, have experienced this tug of war before.

You’ve wanted to follow the joy and excitement and what lights you up.

You’ve wanted to take the risk.

But doing the easier, “safer” thing was what your mind told you was right. You felt the fear and made a choice based on that.

(Absolutely no judgement, this is the whole point of this email, this is the tug of war at play)

But after you made your choice, you kept dreaming of the other thing, the thing you wished you did.

When I think back to the most exciting and enjoyable times in my life, they were when I had fewer commitments which allowed me to just flow from one thing to another…

For example, when I was living and working in London, I worked as a temp and it was so fun going from one place to another.

For three weeks, I worked on the reception desk at the Ferrari and Maserati dealership. I befriended the chauffeur who gave me a ride around the block in a Ferrari!.

🏎️ 🏎️ 🏎️

I did many jobs like this where I flitted around, experiencing things and places and people and EVERY TIME I’d see people in their place of employment, unhappily working there but refusing to leave.

I hope I was able to bring a little light and inspiration into some of those people’s worlds, especially the ones who watched me leave a job because I’d met someone in a bar who invited me to work at a ski resort in the winter time if I wanted it… so off I went.

🏂🏂🏂

All this said, while I was doing these temp roles, I still had this niggling thought in the back of my head that I “should”

(there’s that word again)

get a full time job and stay put so I had financial security.

That voice has never fully gone away… yet.

There are some fabulous movies about people who really lived interesting lives, such as Benjamin Button and Forest Gump, to name just a couple.

They lived these interesting lives because they just followed where their heart took them.

I think that’s why we love these stories, because we see the joy life can bring when you feel into the rhythm of your heart.

The opportunities that open up and present to you.

And sure, there are always going to be those tough moments in life, for some way tougher than others.

But if you have the courage to listen to the call, you’ll often find that everything works out and you are always protected and provided for.

So what are some common traits of people who follow their hearts?

They take time to be present.

They enjoy the moments.

They breathe. Look around. Notice the world.

Take it all in.

And it’s in these moments of presence that we can see the beauty, and feel the gratitude and joy.

When was the last time you did that?

I, myself, am about to embark on a new journey – again.

I am going to drive to Queensland (with my cat George)

and house sit for three months.

After that, I don’t yet have plans but I know that I will figure it out and I know it will be beautiful.

So, I encourage you to take a moment to assess how you’re feeling about your life today.

What are you doing in your life that brings you joy?

Are you feeling joy every day? Are you able to flow from one thing to the next?

Do you smile, laugh, dance regularly?

Do you put your hand on your heart and feel the love in your heart centre?

Does your work fill you up or have you outgrown it?

You did not come to this earth to live in a state of fight/flight/freeze.

I believe you came here just to be.

To be your beautiful self.

To experience life.

To follow your heart.

To just be your true nature, whatever that means to you.

And through those experiences, you learn more about yourself and hopefully grow into that full expression of you.

I also encourage you to take the time today to reflect on the following:

What you’ve created in your life so far.

Are you happy with where this creation has you sitting right now? Do you feel joy in your heart for what you do and where you’re at?

But also reflect on all the times when you took the risk, followed your heart and it all worked out because you trusted that it would

(Like the time I flew to Italy and headed to this little town outside of Napoli without knowing if they had offered me the job or not, or if I’d have somewhere to stay.)

Reflect on how many things you do each day because you think you “should” do them?

Even going to the gym could be this for you. What would you prefer to be doing instead that would bring you more peace and more joy?

Finally reflect on how the joy you feel, or lack of joy, impacts on the people around you? Do you spread it around or have you been labeled as the serious or grumpy one?

And after all these reflections…

What are you going to choose going forward?

How can you adapt your life to lean into the pull of your heart?

How can you transform it to become the life that you love to live

(or love to love!)

How can you share the love and joy around you?

And if you feel stuck in a job, and want out but it’s going to take a minute to figure out your next move,

can you shift your perspective to find joy and gratitude for everything it’s provided and will continue to provide you?

The next step, my dear friend, is to

find the space to breathe, to be still, to be with yourself.

If you’re in fight/flight/freeze, you’ve got to teach yourself how to exit this state on a regular basis. You’ve got to make time for this if you want to be able to even hear your heart and its pull.

Try this 5 count Box Breath to help quieten your mind and relax into your heart.

And when you’re ready for more support, know that I’m here to help.

We’ll start working on calming that nervous system and then start deepening into the work with the breath and becoming more aware of your thoughts and desires and how to change these.

Wow! This was a long one today!

I love writing to you and sharing my thoughts, so if you’ve made it this far, thank you 🙏🏻!

Please comment below and share your joy with me. I’d love to learn more about your gorgeous soul reading these posts!

Here’s to your courage to listen to your heart and create the most joy-filled day!

Much love ❤️,