New Year's Resolutions: How to succeed!
2023 is underway, so tell me, did you make any New Year’s resolutions?
I know that term “resolutions” is one that people aren’t fond of, probably because it comes with an awareness that most people don’t follow through with them. Resolutions seem hopeless and impossible; something that few people achieve.
Is that your belief?
You get swept up in the excitement, in the feeling of starting afresh probably because you want something new for yourself.
You’ve probably realised there’s some stagnation in your life somewhere which creates this squirmy feeling of discomfort inside.
And so what commonly happens then?
You make a quick decision about what you want to change… something you could only dream of, OR something that you maybe haven’t made any effort to change your whole life… but now is your moment!
“I want to lose 10kgs!”
“I want to get healthy/exercise more!”
“I want to quit (insert addiction here)!”
“I want to get organised, get more sh*t done”!
“I want to (insert something you want to learn)!”
“I want to save more money!”
“I want to get a new job!”
“I want to travel more!”
…and the list of failed resolutions goes on.
Have you done this before?
So January 1st comes (or maybe you procrastinate and make this decision half way through the month), you pick one of the things on your list, the one that you feel is most achievable and you begin.
But you forget one thing…
A successful resolution takes a very important ‘C’ word!
A resolution requires you to maintain this new or different behaviour every single day… not for a period of time or until you reach your goal.
A resolution requires you to change PERMANENTLY.
You are COMMITTED to not just achieving the goal but to CHANGING who you are (another ‘C’ word!)
Because if you only change for a period of time, you will likely end up where you started: the same weight, the same bank balance, the same city, the same job, the same level of health and so on.
To be successful, you are required to adapt to a new way of being and practice it daily.
BECOME someone for whom eating healthy is the norm.
BECOME someone who practices the guitar every day until you can play your favourite songs or even better, create your own songs.
BECOME someone who changes the way you spend and save so much so that your finances skyrocket and you have money like you’ve never had before.
You’ve got to BECOME someone new.
You will no longer be the person who eats healthy for 30 days and then goes back to junk.
Who buys that guitar and lets it sit and gather dust in the corner of your room.
Who saves for a month and then goes on a shopping spree.
I, like you, have been there. I too have failed at New Year’s resolutions…
like every single year!
Allow me to share a little about my experience with meditation.
Prior to 2015, I had been dabbling with meditation for years, but was never consistent in my practice.
I knew the benefits of meditation but sitting still with my eyes closed trying to think of nothing wasn’t high on my list of priorities. It felt too hard and uncomfortable.
But as I developed a love of Yoga, I developed a respect for meditation. A respect for taking time for me, for being still.
I realised that I felt A LOT better when I took this time to clear my mind and breathe. I had a lot of anxiety, I’d had panic attacks in the past and no amount of talk therapy helped.
So, in 2015, I set myself a 90 day challenge: to meditate every day.
It didn’t matter for how long, I just had to take the time to sit and be still, slow everything right down.
(I used a guided meditation app which helped me to keep my focus).
So what happened? I made the commitment!
I did it every day for 90 days and in a short period of time, I felt SO much better: calmer, quieter, more balanced, more myself.
What else happened after 90 days? I quit the practice.
After such a long commitment, I decided that I’d made my goal and didn’t have to continue, after all, I felt great!
Logically, you would think that I would have developed a new habit, wouldn’t you? A habit is said to form from as little as 21 days and as much as 66 days (based on studies).
So surely after 90 days, you’d think I was in the groove and meditation was now my daily jam, right?
I was so attached to the number, to the goal, that by the end, I celebrated and stopped.
I couldn’t see beyond the goal. Reaching it made me proud of myself, it gave my ego a super boost. I connected my worth to my ability to stick to something so hard for so long!
And this is where I went wrong.
Another reason people fail to achieve their goals is because they see it as a sprint, not a marathon.
A sprint has an end while a marathon goes on and on
(ok, so there’s an end but you get what I mean, right?!)
A sprint is over quickly with little time to even notice the difficulties.
A marathon takes time and the challenges can be felt deeply. The desire to give up can become strong when the finish line is nowhere in sight.
Importantly though, when you commit to something, you have the patience to do it no matter what. There’s no giving up. You accept that there are going to be obstacles in your way (these are usually in the form of thoughts and feelings).
So as I said above,
In order to make a resolution and achieve it, you’ve got to change.
But what exactly do you have to change?
You aren’t going to stick to something if you’ve attached the thought that you’re not good enough UNLESS you reach the goal.
Or if you think something is really, really hard or even impossible.
You’ve got to change your thoughts to reflect what you WANT to think.
So if you want to think that it’s possible, that’s what you’ve got to believe.
And then you have to plan for all of the ways in which your brain is going to try and trip you up, tell you that its time to give up.
Literally write them down!
Plan for the obstacles that you know are coming.
(if they don’t come, lucky you, but if they do, then you will be prepared!)
So, with this new perspective in mind, do you think you could choose to set a resolution for 2023 and actually change who you are and make it happen and become a permanent transformation in your life?
I know you can.
(Assuming that’s what you want of course.)
I’m sure you’ve done it before. But even if you haven’t, I still believe that you can.
Maybe it would be helpful to have some support?
You know I can help you with that right?!
So, take a little time to consider what it is that you REALLY want and what it is that you are READY to change.
Plan for the potential failures.
List all the thoughts you can think to get you to your goal.
And then execute! Make it happen!
Let that squirmy, icky, uncomfortable feeling be something you are prepared for and know that you can handle.
Because you can, you’ve just got to believe it.
In fact, let that squirmy, icky feeling be something that excites you because you know that on the other side is your growth.
By the way, I’ve now been meditating and breathing every day since May 2020 and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Click below and book a free Discovery call with me if you’d like to be supported as you walk the journey of transformation in 2023.
I have a feeling this year is going to be a big one for transformations.
If you want, you can make it yours too.
Much love and all the best with your resolutions this year,
P.S. I believe in you.